On May 11th, 2018 I shocked myself and everyone around me by delivering my daughter med free after 19 hours of labor. I know some people may roll their eyes at birth stories but I am really proud of myself and wanted to share it. I feel like such a badass and yeah maybe I do want a sticker or a badge of honor for making it through 😉  Here is a little insight into that day:
What was your previous birth like?
I had every intention of doing a med free vaginal birth with my son. Unfortunately nature had other plans. My water broke in the middle of the night at 39 weeks. I kept waiting for the contractions to start and nothing even remotely started. I went to the hospital after maybe an hour or so and they tried for around 48 hours to induce me and…nothing! It was the weirdest thing-I had doses of Pitocin and Cytotec and I never dililated or experinced a single contraction (blessing in disguise maybe?). Around the 48 hour mark I kept hearing a lot of hushed chatter between the nurses and residents in the room. Several panicked phone calls were being made to who I now know was the OB on call.
Let me tell ya you never want to see an OB come in your room at 4am. As soon as he stepped in my heart sank and I knew what was about to happen. My dreams of having a vaginal, natural birth went right out that hospital window. I hadn’t even read the chapter in my natural birth books about c-sections so I was totally unprepared, freaking out and disappointed.
You know what happens when you make plans right? We ended up delivering my son via c-section at 5:59am. He was healthy and the procedure itself was super quick and I was surprised how fast I was able to walk around and recover. I say to people that if they do end up having to have a c-section don’t panic it will be ok and probably not as bad as you think, even an emergency one like mine.
What made you want to do a med free birth!?
When I found out I was pregnant I knew I wanted to try a VBAC. I wasn’t sure my body actually would know what to do when the time came, but I wanted to at least try. I found an amazingly supportive team of midwives who really empower women to trust their bodies.
My mom delivered all three of us med free and I figured if she can do it I can do it too. I guess I lean semi-crunchy in the motherhood department too so that played a role as well.
As off the wall as it may sound I wanted to experience the feeling of contractions and the rush of delivering my baby naturally versus in an OR this time. I wanted to be able to say “yeah I did that” and swap childbirth stories with my friends. I wanted to know what it felt like.
I was met with a lot of skepticism by friends who told me to “not ruin both ends” (aka have a section scar and a rough vaginal delivery). First of all who says that agh?! Second nothing is ruined come on now. Also my doctor husband was really nervous of what could happen and wanted to to schedule a repeat c-section.
I did lots of research about uterine rupture rates, VBAC success stories and talked to my providers extensively. Learning from last time I wanted to go into this being really open however. Whatever was meant to be would be.
Was it painful?
It was the worst pain I have experienced in my life so far, so I would say yes! But I also preface this by saying I am the BIGGEST baby ever when it comes to pain tolerance. I am not kidding when I say that if I can do it anyone can.
If I had to explain the pain it is like a someone reaching into your stomach and ringing out your uterus like a wet washrag as hard as they can. But then it stops and you can breathe for a few minutes until the next contraction comes.
Pushing was one of the hardest parts for me as well. My contractions slowed way down and I had to do most of the 2 hours of it unassisted by my body. I kept being grateful for continuing ab work during pregnancy. I had to muster up all of my strength and give one final, painful push to get her out. I kept stalling because I knew it was going to hurt. An hurt it did, but then it was done and the pain was over!
What got you through the pain?
I am normally a modest person but the loud, guttural noises coming out of me omg I am so glad there was no video of it! I made these strange singing, moaning, groaning sounds that just bellowed out on each contraction. I also found it helpful to raise my arm in the air and make a fist for each one too (don’t ask I have no idea either lol).
The tub and shower was a godsend for pain relief. I spent a good two hours in there before my midwife made me get out because she was worried it was slowing down labor. I think she also knew I would have just stayed in there forever too.
My mom was there for each contraction with a cold, wet washcloth and that felt like heaven and helped a ton. My husband would hold my hand or rub my back and that was nice as well.
But overall I think just knowing that I had to get through this pain and that it was all for a good cause was huge. I knew my body was doing this to move my baby down and prepare for delivery so it was pain for a purpose.
I also ended up delivering buck naked. Again with the all modesty goes out the window thing! I did not care who saw what (hi mom!) Channing Tatum could have come all dancing in my room and I wouldn’t have cared then either.
Did you do any prep work?
I took a great online natural birth class which you can find here. It gives a great overview of what will happen in each stage of labor as well as pre and post natal care. I didn’t really have the time with my husbands insane schedule to do a class in person.
I wanted to try a hypnobabies type course and actually bought all the home study materials, but didn’t end up making it past the first chapter. I had tried hypnosis for fear of flying before which was unsuccessful. I knew my brain and body would not be able to get into the zone of hypnosis for childbirth either.
Who was in the room with you?
I had every intention of just being my husband, doula and me. Strangely enough though once contractions started in the early morning, I called my mom and dad to come watch our son so we could get to the hospital. All I wanted in the moment was my mom comforting me. Even to the point where I didn’t even call the doula we had pre-paid for because the thought of another relative stranger in the room with me was too much. I wanted it to be a sacred experience and what felt right in the moment was my mom and husband.
Any advice for others wanting to try a med free birth?Â
I say that you can’t really “try” for a med free birth you have to “commit”. Your support team also has to know your wishes and make sure they try everything in their power to keep that commitment with you. Pick a provider who encourages and supports natural childbirth. Also find a hospital or birth center that is on the same page as you too.
There were two or three times I asked my husband if I could have an epidural or a c-section in moments of pain and defeat. But he was a master at getting me through that weak moment, keeping me focused and keeping the end I wanted in mind. Â If he had said oh sure just get the epidural now I would have, and I am grateful he kept me on the path I wanted even if I was mad at him in the moment.
I only had one friend do a med free birth and I thought about her and asked her advice. Finding other women who have gone through it and lived to tell the tale can be a huge asset. Even if its just on an online message board. Knowing that others have made it out alive helped me stay focused.
Would you do it again?
I can’t believe I am saying this and must have forgotten all the pain but YES! I don’t know if a third baby is ever in the cards but I would go through all of that pain and suffering to feel that rush of endorphins and fall in love with my new baby all over again. I will never forget the feeling of her warm, slippery skin or that smell she had. It is something I replay in my head over and over again and smile every time. Just recalling this experience makes me tear up and smile. It was every ounce of beauty and love as they say and better that I could have ever imagined.
What was your birth experience like? Would you ever or did you go med free?
Busybodyk says
Amazing story! I went med free too! It’s not as bad as some make it sound. I would do it again too 🙂
Kelly says
I feel like in the moment I was all “I’m never doing this again” ha. But looking back it was tolerable and if I had to do it again I totally would. Nice to hear from another med free mama 🙂
Krysten says
I absolutely love this. My first baby, I stalled at 7 cm and begged for an epidural. With my next 2 I had successful planned home births. I absolutely loved those experiences and would do it again in a heartbeat. (We’re all done with babies though).
I completely get wanting your mama with you. When E was born it was supposed to be my hubby and my doula with me, but in the moment I just had to have my mom with me.
Kelly says
Thanks for chiming in 🙂 So nice to hear a similar experience. Isn’t it funny how in the moment it seems impossible but now we would volunteer to sign up again ha!?