I have a terrible confession to make. It’s agonizing for me to admit, but I love my phone more than my family. They say true love is putting them in front of all others, reaching for them in times of need, thinking about them when you aren’t able to be together. Oh dear phone this one is for you.
I was recently turned onto this app called Moment that tracks exactly how much time you spend on your phone each day. (No, this isn’t a sponsored post or affiliate link; it’s just an app that helped me and I think it will help you, too.)
After a week of monitoring, I was disgusted to see that I spend eight hours or more on my phone every day! You read that right. Disgusting. Sad. Pathetic. That was a wakeup call.
And I know better. Not only am I a mental health counselor who regularly helps people to cultivate healthy interpersonal relationships, but I’m environmentally aware and a little bit of a health nut, too. Basically, I know the long-term consequences of relying too heavily on technology, and yet I’ve fallen victim to it!
I’m aware of the dopamine hit these little devices give us and how exactly they become so addicting over time, but knowledge hasn’t stopped me this time.
The sad thing is that I know I’m not the only one. Do any of these examples resonate with you?
- I’ll be out on a date with my husband and we’ll both be busy on our phones and barely talking. It’s as if we’re not even together.
- I’ll be sitting right next to my son, telling him I need five more minutes as I check Facebook, instead of playing trains with him.
- I’ll scroll Instagram while feeding my infant daughter, instead of using that time to bond.
If you’re feeling like maybe you need to be more present with the actual world around you, here are some tips to help you detox:
1. Use an app to monitor your progress. It sounds counterintuitive, but in order to change a problem, you have to first understand the scope of it. There are a few different apps out there, if Moment isn’t a good fit for you. After you’ve seen just how much time you spend on your phone, you might realize you can do a lot of what you’re doing, in a shorter amount of time, from your laptop. You can plan an hour each day to log on and then log off, versus having access all day long in the palm of your hand.
2. Uninstall apps and turn off notifications. Do you actually need all those time sucking apps on your phone? Uninstall the biggest distractions and things you can check from your laptop. Then stop all of the noisy notifications. Turn off the blinking lights. Turn on the “do not disturb” mode for nighttime so that only phone calls and your alarm can sound during the overnight hours.
3. When worse comes to worst: downgrade to a dumb phone. If you absolutely cannot help yourself, get a phone that literally only makes and receives phone calls and texts.
4. Take a tech-free vacation. There are plenty of pre-planned tech-free vacations out there, but you can also create your own, either by going somewhere without WiFi, setting serious limitations on tech usage, or just leaving your phone behind.
5. Set up in-person meetings with some of your Facebook friends to start establishing connections without the phone. Make social media actually social by using it only to set up real get-togethers.
6. Keep your phone out of sight. If it’s hard to get to, you won’t use it as often.
7. Don’t bring it into the bathroom. Admit it; this is totally gross, but a lot of us do it. Use your time in the bathroom to get in and get out! It will be one less opportunity to waste time staring at that screen, and maybe you’ll finally read all those magazines that have been piling up!
I’m relived to report back that after that horrible week of tech tracking I have significantly cut down my phone usage and am enjoying more mindful, present time with my family. Its refreshing how much free time I have now that used to be completely wasted. I vow not to waste my life anymore and the time we are given here.
Yes I still post on Facebook, text friends, online shop and take pictures of my kids. But now I am aware of my time and choosing to spend it living life and not just documenting it for strangers to see.
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