Ever notice how Pinterest (and Instagram nowadays) feed you expectations for the holidays? Maybe it’s a perfectly decorated home, five-star-restaurant-quality meals, or even kids’ crafts that would put Martha Stewart to shame. All of these “inspirational” posts really just plant seeds deep in our minds that will pop up as anxiety during the height of the season. Ultimately, the message we end up receiving is “I am not doing enough,” or “This isn’t good enough,” or “I AM NOT enough.” Instead of experiencing life, we try to control every aspect in order to prove our worthiness. You already know that’s bullshit. So how do you avoid this common pitfall? Here are a few ways to beat the guilt of not having a Pinterest holiday:
- Get in touch with your inner child. Think back to when you experienced the holidays in the moment and didn’t have access to the internet. You might not have realized how other people were celebrating and the only comparison you made was to what you saw in movies, like Home Alone (which you knew even as a kid was pretty far-fetched). What did you really care about? What was most magical about the holiday season? Whether you have kids or not, this should be a reality check into what really matters this time of year. If you’re religious, go back to that every time your mind wanders. If you’re not, focus on togetherness, charity, or things you can only experience this time of year so that you slow down and soak it all in.
. - Create your own traditions. After you’ve meditated on what you loved as a kid, think of ways that you can recreate or modernize that today. How can you take the emphasis off expensive things, unrealistic expectations of others, and general perfectionism and instead be present? It’s especially important to create new traditions if the old ones were making you feel burdened or oppressed. There’s a meme floating around out there that says, “Traditions are just dead relatives yelling at us from the grave.” Having said that, there’s always a time and place for traditions, and maybe there are a few that would do you some good to return to after years of straying into the comparison zone.
. - When all else fails, avoid Pinterest! You can look away, you know! As with any vice we’re trying to avoid, sometimes the only answer is to cut it out of our lives completely. For you, it might be Instagram or Facebook. If your livelihood depends on social media, consider hiring a virtual assistant to handle these aspects for you, so you can focus on more important things.
. - Remember that participating in setting the bar high is only perpetuating the cycle. You know all of your imperfect friends? The ones you don’t judge for having Charlie Brown Christmas trees, messy houses, and *gasp* store-bought cookies? You might be overdoing things to gain approval (From whom, by the way?) when really all you’re doing is making others feel like they can’t keep up. Maybe it’s time to be as accepting of ourselves as we are to our friends.
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