I bow to no one. That is, until I hear a sweet little voice say the magic words, “Mommy, hold you?” And while the voice may be tiny, the human behind it is not. My toddler weighs in at over 35 pounds and is off the pediatrician’s chart in height.
I get this request dozens of times a day and I give in each time. I’ve heard the argument against doing so long before I became a mother myself. I was once a nanny to 6-week-old twins whose grandmother had a strict ‘do not pick them up’ policy even at that age. The babies’ mother relented to her old school advice, fearing the infants would be damaged and instead knew they needed tough love.
Long before my own maternal instincts kicked in, I cuddled these babies. Countless studies have proven the effects of human contact (or lack thereof) on children. Serious and lasting consequences come out of depriving a baby of physical touch. The outdated advice that it is actually possible to spoil a baby in this way is not only absurd, but so harmful.
The criticism didn’t end with one old granny, unfortunately. When I became a mother myself, so many family members were concerned over the fact that I would pick my son up every time he cried. Reacting to my son’s cries with attempts to comfort him felt so natural to me. It was at least one thing I knew I was doing right as a new mom, so it wasn’t hard for me to ignore the comments.
Truth be told, we’re more than two years in and this hasn’t stopped. Most importantly, I’m cool with it. In fact, I love it! It’s our time to bond. I’m acutely aware that time is fleeting and that he won’t want me to hold him forever. From what I hear, a teenage boy might even recoil from his mother’s touch, not to mention mine will be a giant anyway… I will continue to pick him up as long as I am physically able, despite protests that I’m creating attachment and sleep issues for him and physical pain for myself.
In a few short months, I’ll be bringing home a new baby, and I’ll do the same with her. I might be spread a little thinner, I might be more tiredand physically exhausted, but my children will know there is endless room in my heart for them. And besides, I can think of no better way to get Michelle Obama’s arms.
A version of my post was originally published here at Detroit Moms Blog
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