Have you noticed how social media these days has been seeming super…well superficial. Sometimes I miss the days where there were no selfies, developing film took a couple days and unless I saw Polaroids I wasn’t constantly bombarded with images of “flawless” people living a life most of us can only dream of.
One minute your feeling great, riding high and then your blasted with a post or a picture that makes you question your own looks, finances, life choices and you start feeling bad about yourself. Yeah it’s a terrible feeling.
Here are a couple tips to get yourself and your self-esteem back on track when you feel like comparing yourself to someone else and sadly aren’t measuring up. Because here is the deal: you are measuring up, you are special and no one else can live your life but you. Life is short, lets start living our best one!
Reality Check One: No Filter or Hot Body Can Make You Perfect.
What you don’t see behind the screen are that these “influencers” and models are challenged continuously, picked apart, and critiqued by others. Often they receive daily harmful and damaging comments. It is not always what you see superficially like hot fashion deals and fit bodies; it’s a cruel and harsh place.
“The reason we struggle with insecurity is because we compare our behind-the-scenes with everyone else’s highlight reel.” – Steve Furtick
We see what people want us to see and not what we wish we could, which is reality. I can guarantee if we saw the flip side of the perfect photos and videos, we would breathe a sigh of relief and say, “I guess they are normal like me, too.” Most people aren’t posting normal double chin, acne scars, stomach hanging over their jeans, messy house, just having a bad day snaps.
Reality Check Two:“Don’t try to be better than someone else, be a better version of yourself tomorrow than you are today.”-Kelly Houseman (yes yours truly)
I encourage you to let go of pretense and the pressure of perfection. Does seeing someone else’s picture (that they want you to see) have you second-guessing your appearance, home, or general lifestyle? Emotional responses to envy can override logic, consequently putting ourselves down and only focusing on our negatives.
While we may wish for someone else’s life the reality is we ain’t going to get it. So do what you need to do to live your best life. Write down your goals and the steps you need to take to get there. You can use someone else for motivation but you are the only one who gets to chose your unique path…anything is possible you can achieve it!
Reality Check Three: Lift yourself – and each other up. Daily motivation and praise have tremendous value.
Write down the real-life relationships and goals most important to you. Focusing on these can help you develop a healthy sense of self-worth and confidence. Reconnect with those people in real life or even over text or mailing them a card. Tell them why you love having them in your life. Nurture the relationships that really matter!
Reality Check Four: Write it down. Say it out loud! You are doing a great job; you look incredible in those jeans; you have a beautiful home; you are strong.
And on those days when you’re not feeling strong or beautiful – that’s ok! We don’t have to force it all the time. We are human, and sometimes we’re sick and tired or some combination of both and don’t look or feel our best.
Reality Check Five: Time to take a break.
If you feel anxious or negative thoughts each time you open your social media platforms, it’s time to take a break. Assess where those negative comparisons are stemming. Is there a particular account you follow that makes you feel bad about yourself? It’s time for an unfollow.
Delete the apps off your phone. Perhaps you need only a few days or a maybe several weeks to decompress, and when you’re ready to come back, evaluate who you are allowing to take up space in your brain.
During this down time, spend more quality time with your family, focus on things that bring you true joy and a sense of accomplishment. When you redirect your attention toward your reality, you’ll have less energy to focus on what’s bringing you down.
Final thought: make social media about socializing and feeling good. Just like anything in life, if it isn’t serving you to become a better person Let. It. Go.
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