Ever notice how everyone is a social media “influencer” these days? You might see a perfectly curated Instagram account and suddenly realize nearly every post is trying to sell you something. Just a little crafty advertising, right? Nothing society hasn’t seen before. But often these influencers are real people, not celebrities, and it’s easier to think of whatever a celebrity is trying to sell as sort of scammy or out-of-touch. When real people do it, it feels like we need to keep up, even if we aren’t consciously aware of it.
There’s no harm in following accounts to learn more about the latest trends or hear trusted reviews on new products, but there’s a fine line between motivation and feeling bad about yourself while crossing unto dangerous behavior (ie: eating disorders, exercising too much, overspending because you think a dress will bring you happiness). The problem with following these influencers too closely is that often we don’trealize their posts are trying to sell us something.
For example, suddenly we make it a goal to eat better and exercise, but maybe we only came around to that idea after being exposed to women whose job is to pose in bikinis and fitness attire. Here are a few things to keep in mind when scrolling, and suggestions to use social media for good.
- Remember, real is not always really real. Aside from all of the staging and photo editing involved, the pictures you see on social media may involve “average” people, but they may not be showing you an average day in their lives. They might not even use the products they are getting paid to advertise! Pay specific attention to any account that feels sort of frenemy-ish, meaning you like it, but it makes you feel negatively in a way you can’t pinpoint. Take a minute to scrutinize those accounts and consider unfollowing them. *A quick word on unfollowing: if you were lying on your death bed, you wouldn’t give an unfollow a second thought, so stop sweating it now!
- Identify your own preferences, and ask yourself why you want what you want (including newly identified goals). Is this a comparison thing? Would you buy it if it wasn’t trendy? Would you want to accomplish it if you weren’t allowed to tell anyone you had done it? Why do you care about this? Try to look at the whole situation objectively. Is this the sixth grade classroom all over again, where you only want something because all of the other girls have it? If you take an honest look at your life and determine there are areas you would like to improve (we’re talking things your inner child would approve of), you might start to look at social media in a new light.
- Work in reverse. Once you’ve identified what you want (maybe by logging off for a while), then go to social media for inspiration on how to achieve that goal. If you log on feeling lost, you’ll fill your head with things that never would have crossed your mind in the first place. Life isn’t an “if you build it, they will come” situation; we don’t buy all the things hoping to then find the body/man/career/friends of our dreams. Consider a time you were planning a party and had a particular theme or recipe in mind, so you went to Pinterest in search of detailed help. Compare that to a time when you had no idea what you should do for a party or for dinner and went scrolling for ideas. You probably felt pretty overwhelmed, frustrated, and possibly inadequate. The point is to go online with purpose and intention, at least the majority of the time.
- Follow more inspirational people. You are feeding your brain a diet of what’s possible and what’s valuable. You are shaping your thoughts with what you expose yourself to. If you have a child, what do you want for his or her future? You probably want to shelter him or her from things that make them feel unworthy. Be your inner child’s parent! What do you want to truly influence and shape you from this day forward? It is possible to follow social media accounts that are light-hearted, fun, and/or inspiring without being total shallow and dangerous.
- Use your own influence wisely. Everyone has influence, whether they recognize it or not. If you have a social media account, you have a platform. If you have any followers, people are watching you and either feeling negatively or positively about what you post. I’m not saying you need to worry about what other people think, but I am suggesting you think twice about whether what you’re sharing is aligns with therealyou. Have you fallen down a rabbit hole of needinglikes and followers? Are you compromising your deepest convictions (and do you even know what those are)? If you have kids or want kids in the future, think about what would make you really sad to see them posting and make sure you aren’t doing that. Want the best for yourself as much as you would want for them.
Social media is not the enemy. It’s a phenomenal tool for connecting with others, whether it’s linking up with old friends, growing a business, or learning about other cultures when travel may not be possible. But more and more often, women in particular are changing who they are to try and keep up with the “influencers.” Be careful who you let influence you, and remember, you don’t have to buy everything they are selling.
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