I have a confession to make. When I see a picture of myself that I don’t like, I have to break out all my best therapist tools to keep my self-confidence from plummeting. Is that really what I look like? Is that really how people see me? We are truly our own worst critics, picking apart even the best photos of ourselves. If we were talking to a friend, we’d reassure them saying, “Girl, it’s ONE picture. It’s not the end of the world and it’s not even as bad as you’re saying!” But when it’s us, we spiral.
Of course, I’m able to step back and see the big picture, but for a hot second I am truly an internet troll to myself! I might feel past my prime or I might start comparing myself to others, but that’s where it ends. When I hear others saying bad tagged photos posted online make them feel unlovable and unworthy, however, I am heartbroken for them! They’ve taken the saying “a picture is worth a thousand words” to a new low. And I worry that this is more common than we make think, so I want to offer a few suggestions here today if you struggle with the same feelings.
First, I hope that just knowing other women and men feel the same provides a little bit of relief. Even the most beautiful super model or hottest actor in the world feels this way at times! It doesn’t necessarily have anything to do with attractiveness, rather it’s about our expectations and some deeper fears we haven’t addressed.
Second, as soon as you see a bad photo of yourself, take a breath. Remember, that it is one picture. How many photos would you estimate are floating around out there of you? This is not going to be the one that tells the entire story of who you are and what you have to offer this world.
Third, when you see a beautiful, professional photo, you’re seeing one of hundreds that were taken that day in an attempt to just get that one usable image. Lighting and angles can make the exact same woman look like an entirely different person. Whether you get enough sleep can alter how you look from one day to the next, as can hair and makeup.
Fourth, if you can’t stop the negative self-talk train from racing down the tracks, balance it out with equally powerful positive thoughts. Find the best picture you have of yourself. You know the one from that night when your confidence was at an all-time high? You were happy, and glowing, and unquestionably beautiful. Remember what that felt like and remember that you’re still the same person.
Last but not least, what is the worst that would happen if you asked the person who posted the picture to take it down? The world needs more vulnerability and transparency, so try saying, “I hate to sound vain, but that picture of me is really unflattering. Any way I can convince you to remove it?” Then, poof! The problem is gone!
[…] If you’re struggling with the feelings behind what you look like and can’t shake the unhappiness that comes up check out my related post on not letting one “bad” picture shutter your confidence here. […]