These are uncharted times and strong emotions are coming up for caregivers and children (adult children count too) alike. Many parents are asking “What do I say” or “How Should I act”? Here are a few quick ways to start and continue the Coronavirus talk. Note that these tips can also apply to any crisis situation in the future as well.
Have the initial conversation and keep the lines of communication open
You may think that you are protecting your child by shielding them from some of the realities of today’s world, but by avoiding talking about what’s going on, you may be causing them more anxiety. Children are perceptive and have more than likely overheard talk on the news or at school, seen people wearing masks or picked up on changes in your behavior. Without an explanation, these changes and uncertainties can be very distressing for your child.
Your role as a parent needs to be to initiate an open, ongoing conversation about Coronavirus that conveys facts and sets the emotional tone for how to process the information. Model calm and reassuring behavior while providing an open forum for your child to ask questions and express emotions. The conversation should be an ongoing one: reassure your child that they can always come to you with questions and that you will continue to update them with new information as you have it.
Be honest and accurate while adjusting facts to be developmentally appropriate for your child
Do your research and present relevant details. Think of yourself as a filter: you take in all the news, facts, and chatter and filter it to present to your child in a way that is factual, but not overwhelming or scary. Your child should walk away from the conversation informed and confident in their understanding of Coronavirus and how it affects them and the world.
The ultimate goal is to do your part to keep your child from spiraling into frightening fantasies fueled by misinformation or lack of information. Also consider limiting your child’s screen time to help curb their exposure to the constant, all-consuming coverage and dissemination of information, some of which may not be entirely accurate or productive.
Teach your child ways to stay safe and keep others safe with everyday actions
It’s natural for your child to fear the worst when hearing about a scary reality of the world, so help them cope by teaching them ways they can keep themselves, their friends, and their family safe. Empower your child with the CDC’s guidelines for helping to stop the spread of Coronavirus. Educate them on hand-washing and proper technique for covering coughs and sneezes. Teach them the “why” behind social distancing and how they are helping to flatten the curve.
Create structure and consistency for your child’s routine
Disruptions to routine can be disconcerting for your child and increase feelings of anxiety about Coronavirus and its severity. Most adults, let alone children, haven’t experienced mass shutdowns as a result of a pandemic before. While there are obvious shake-ups to normal routines such as cancelled school, parents home from work, and limited group activities, try your best to create structure and normalcy in your child’s routine.
Make schedules that encourage consistent daily routines around playtime, learning, and physical activity similar to those they are used to when their time is split between home and school. But on the flip side it is also ok to be a little lax right now and if you don’t feel like scheduling every minute don’t!
This is important: take care of yourself and stay sane
You are modeling behavior for your child during this trying time, so it is increasingly important that you take care of yourself – both mentally and physically. Kids take their cues from the adults around them.
I know more than anyone that it can be difficult having the kids home more than usual while still trying to keep up with work and your home. To combat this, make sure you’re setting structure for not only your child, but also for yourself.
Work around the schedule you’ve created for your child to make sure your day has periods of time where you can get work done or accomplish other tasks. Also take time to fit in a home workout or something else that makes you happy: taking “me time” isn’t selfish, it’s necessary in order to be your best self for your child. Additionally, if you’re experiencing anxiety about Coronavirus, read my last blog for some tips to work through those feelings so that you can be your best self for your child.
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